There has been a block to my blogging. So instead of working on the posts I have in the works (They do exist!), I’m sitting here trying to figure out exactly what’s in my way, what’s creating this roadblock-of-movie-car-chase-proportions. You know, one of those epic car chases that includes someone knocking over a fruit stand.
I know a small part of it is my still-recovering perfectionist side. I’d love to research a topic to death before posting about it. But that literally means that posting will never happen. I would never be satisfied, there would always be another article to read or another perspective to explore. (I feel like I’ve already come to terms with this. Old news.)
So what else could it possibly be? [insert thoughtful face here, finger on chin 🤔<–why this indicates thinking, I have no idea.] Surely not that I’m busy trying to raise two kids, recover after the stress-induced cold from hell, and pretend I have a life outside of cooking/errands/dishes/laundry. Nope, I’m sure that has nothing to do with it.
If I’m overly honest, which I am, I guess I don’t feel legitimate enough to blog–because I’m not fully healed from autoimmune disease. How could I possibly write about food, lifestyle, and functional medicine as a roadmap to health when I haven’t yet arrived at the destination? #automotiveanalogies #wifeofagearhead
I wish I could say that I experience amazing health with boundless energy and superhuman mental focus. “Do what I do! Be like me! Come ride the struggle bus!” Umm… not the best tagline.
My experience seems somehow invalid because I struggle to get out of bed in the morning, because I had two migraines last week, because I’m still trying to tweak my supplement regimen, because I turn to chocolate to get me through rough days… #soonandsoforth
If I, a health professional who has been researching and using herself as a guinea pig for ten years, can’t “fully heal”, then what do I have to offer you? Why would anyone want to take my advice? (I probably wouldn’t. #Questioner #showmeresearch #showmeresults)
The answer must be dependent on how I define healing.
It’s been said that health is the ability to follow our dreams… Do I believe that?
Are there things I would do differently if I was perfectly healthy? I miss traveling. I really miss music and theater. I’d love to think that I would do more of those dream-like things if I had more time (less cooking) and more energy. Honestly, those are things that are hard to do with smaller kids anyway.
I’d love to have more focus and energy to spend on these kids. To be able to jump on the enormous bouncy pillow on the pumpkin patch field trip without paying for it the next day. (Hint, I did it anyway!)
I have to remember that through my diet and lifestyle, I can control my symptoms enough to be ok. Not perfect or even great, but adequate. I may or may not be able to discover and heal my root cause of autoimmunity, and I’m a work in progress. But in the meantime, I’m ok. And that’s a big deal for those of us who have experienced rock bottom of the autoimmune downward spiral.
There’s that whole thing about enjoying the journey instead of focusing on the destination. That’s where I’m at. I’m probably going to to encounter plenty more roadblocks of all kinds, annoying traffic, and inconvenient rerouting. “Make a U-turn when possible…” <–said in the voice of Flo, my helpful friend from the maps app.
You’re welcome to come along for the ride on the struggle bus. But be warned, my roadtrips usually include a lot of singing. Very loud, obnoxious singing. 🎵🎤🎶
Too legit, too legit to quit…
-Lindsay, the Rogue Pharmacist